Together We Rise

Vulnerability Share:

 

Two years ago I began my journey of trying to get published. I accomplished that and learned so much about myself in the process.

 

See I’ve always prided myself on feeling elation as others stepped into their power, owning their stories, and leaving a footprint- their own unique mark on the world. But during this particular chapter in my life, I began to feel something else and it was ugly. I started comparing myself to others, started having pangs of inadequacy, insecurity, and, well… jealousy.

 

As a person who doesn’t enjoy these types of feels but someone who deeply believes in not bypassing…I decided to lean into the discomfort and embrace these emotions. I gave them security and a voice to be acknowledged. I also stepped away from writing and took a sabbatical.

 

What I concluded was that I questioned my own worth and my own value in the words I wrote. I also learned the true meaning of “ego” and realized how large mine had grown. I also realized I felt competitive with others due to my own sense of a lesser value and a whole lot of stuff came up around my own aging process.

 

See, I kept viewing these beautiful young women doing effortless yoga poses and the like and had the thought, “But how can I complete with that? I’m almost forty, come with some extra padding, am seeing sunspots pop up on my face like a Dalmatian, and can’t get in an awesome headstand. What value do I have?”

 

Throughout this process, I found love for myself and began to accept the soft spots. I came to the realization that I can’t compete with these beauties and needed to learn to love and accept myself as I am- where I am. I realized these young women were not my competitors after all and realized my own value. I also realized we have each walked our own unique path and we all have our own stories. We’ve all lived different lives. I realized I had just as much knowledge and wisdom to share…just from an older- different perspective.

 

Transitioning my thoughts from a negative into a positive made me feel like the greatest Alchemist of all. It also made me question what they were doing that I wanted to accomplish and fueled that as motivation for my own self growth. I also seemed to finally stumble onto a different path that I could recognize as my own.

 

I also had to realize my validation as a human was not tied to how many views, likes, or shares I had…

 

I had to retrain myself to no longer seek my wholeness and value through the eyes and opinions of others.

 

Today, I find myself back at that beautiful space within myself that can honor other women and celebrate their accomplishments without somehow internalizing it into, “Why not me?!” 

 

Today, I feel blessed to know the women I have in my life. Today I am grateful for female connection. Today I feel honored to know such amazing and powerful women.  Women are not my competitors…they are my allies and together, we rise…

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